Holy crap. I just tallied up my word count for writing this year and on this computer alone it's at just over 44,500 words. Which is, uh, much more than I'd anticipated. Only about half of that is actually polished up and in a form where anyone online has seen it, so it might not count but I'm inexplicably pleased regardless. And I've more over on my other machine, even. Not much more, under 5K in total, I'd imagine, but still! 44K! That's practically a Nanowrimo right there.

Not that I could do a Nanowrimo in a single month. I think I'd wind up killing myself.

I recognize that this isn't exactly all that impressive a tally for fandom in general, but I think I managed to write 6-7K tops between 2004-2008, so I'll take what I can get.

So I think I need to rewatch S4. As in, all of it. From Lazarus to Lucifer and yes, that unfortunately includes Yellow Fever and ASS and CAIADB. There are just so many interesting themes and nuances that keep getting brought up and even each of the MOTW throwaway episodes does something to refer to the overall mytharc in some way or another, that it sort of necessitates a second run through.

( Cut to spare you pointless Sam and general S4 related ramblings. Also, to save your friends' lists because I can't be pithy to save my life, I swear. )

All of which is a lot of Sam thoughts from someone who is very much a Dean!girl, but what can you do? Dean's absolutely my favorite Winchester, partially because his logic typically makes such sense to me. I can follow each step he takes because it's often what I'd do myself. OTOH, trying to suss out what Sam was thinking and when is a a much more difficult exercise. Thankfully, I enjoy puzzles.

Well, there's that and also reading the beautiful Sam-centric story Wind Shear by the ever talented samidha, which is just a gloriously dark and gritty look into Sam's mind during the summer that Dean was dead. It very much makes me have thinky thoughts. Highly recommended, if you've not read it already.

So yeah, I think I am going to have to rewatch all of these episodes, if for no other reason than so that I can get properly into Sam's head space so I can write the follow up to Wisdom to the Mighty, Succour to the Brave. Even if it means rewatching Yellow Fever.

God give me strength.