So I think I need to rewatch S4. As in, all of it. From Lazarus to Lucifer and yes, that unfortunately includes Yellow Fever and ASS and CAIADB. There are just so many interesting themes and nuances that keep getting brought up and even each of the MOTW throwaway episodes does something to refer to the overall mytharc in some way or another, that it sort of necessitates a second run through.

( Cut to spare you pointless Sam and general S4 related ramblings. Also, to save your friends' lists because I can't be pithy to save my life, I swear. )

All of which is a lot of Sam thoughts from someone who is very much a Dean!girl, but what can you do? Dean's absolutely my favorite Winchester, partially because his logic typically makes such sense to me. I can follow each step he takes because it's often what I'd do myself. OTOH, trying to suss out what Sam was thinking and when is a a much more difficult exercise. Thankfully, I enjoy puzzles.

Well, there's that and also reading the beautiful Sam-centric story Wind Shear by the ever talented samidha, which is just a gloriously dark and gritty look into Sam's mind during the summer that Dean was dead. It very much makes me have thinky thoughts. Highly recommended, if you've not read it already.

So yeah, I think I am going to have to rewatch all of these episodes, if for no other reason than so that I can get properly into Sam's head space so I can write the follow up to Wisdom to the Mighty, Succour to the Brave. Even if it means rewatching Yellow Fever.

God give me strength.

Title: For The Grace (1/2)
Rating: PG-13
Genre and/or Pairing: Gen. John, Dean (mentions of Sam)
Spoilers: Stanford era, no major spoilers
Word Count: ~4600
Warnings: Some language
Summary: Sam's gone and John receives a harsh lesson in listening to what isn't said when Dean gets hurt on a hunt.

Notes: Written for the perfectly awesome SPN H/C meme last month for a prompt requesting hurt!Dean and worried!John while Sam was at college.


( Dean went quiet whenever he was hurt. )

Title: Ever So Humble
Rating: G
Genre and/or Pairing: Gen. Sam, Dean.
Spoilers: TWT, (probably sometime in S2)
Word Count: ~1100
Warnings: Schmoop. One extremely minor swear word.
Summary: Sam's sick after a hunt. Dean grudgingly makes him soup.

Notes: This was written for another SPN kink request, this time for "Sam/Dean: Sam loves Dean's cooking". I wrote the bit about Sam loving Dean's cooking, but not the Wincest - this is a gen piece in my mind, but readers are welcome to take it however they'd like.

My love of Dean's cooking was partially inspired by the epically wonderful Red Beans and Rice series by the amazingly talented janissa11, a pair of stories that if you haven't read, I recommend dropping everything to read now. They're simply perfect.

( Other people his age felt nostalgia for childhood pets, or favorite places to hang out, or television shows they had to watch every afternoon. For Sam, it was Dean's cooking. )

Title: Dirges In The Dark
Rating: PG-13
Genre and/or Pairing: Gen. Dean, Sam
Spoilers: TWT, mid S4
Word Count: ~1750
Warnings: A bit of language and a dash of violence
Summary: A hunt catches Dean off guard when he and Sam try to save a Seal. Written for a bondage & H/C prompt on the May 2009 SPN Kink Meme (for which I wrote gen, because I am lame.)

( It was stupid, really. A year of battles with angels and demons and cataclysmic nightmare creatures and you'd think that would mean the beings of this world wouldn't be able to touch them anymore. Wouldn't be that big of a threat. )

I think I haven't updated this particular journal in nigh on two and a half years. Maybe more, at this point. It's been a long time, anyway. But this has always sort of been my writing and fandom journal and lately, well, I've been having more writing and fandom type thoughts. So in that vein, SPN finale coda fic, anyone?

Title: Wisdom to the Mighty, Succour to the Brave
Rating: PG-13
Genre and/or Pairing: Sam, Dean
Spoilers: Post 4.22 (spoilers for the finale)
Warnings: A bit of language
Summary: It's the end of the world as they know it, but Sam's not feeling fine. (Post the finale, the Brothers Winchester have a needed conversation and probably would do better with some alcohol.)

( Dean kept peering out the windows. Every few minutes he would return back in the same spot, glancing down and out at the highway as if expecting to see the armies of Hell - or perhaps Heaven - there and at the ready. )

And shockingly twenty-four today. I don't know how I feel about that, so I do believe that I'll ignore it. Twenty-three was easy to ignore, after all. It prolly won't get painful until closer to thirty.

Also v. amused as it turns out that my understanding French comes in handy for unexpected reasons. I'd a hit of nostolgia tonight, so went looking for Seiji fic. Didn't find any that I haven't read before, and it seems all the image archives are dead and gone (and I will never ever get another copy of the song "Midnight Party", which is truly a woeful thing, as nothing else on this earth is quite of the crack as much as that song), but it does appear that there's a small French fandom still surviving. Or maybe it's actually been dead for years and the webpages are maintained on Google like bones in the Sahara, but as my French remains better than my Japanese, I can still gleefully chortle over what I find.

Like 90% of the movies I watch, it might be old, but it's still new to me.

Have lost all respect for myself as a writer. Cannot speak using pronouns. Have located google-cached chapter of Mary Sue fic written at 14.

...

Words do not describe. Had entirely forgotten shameful first ever published fic. Every cliche ever incorporated into a Mary Sue fic is present in that fic. Original OC. From America. Mysterious connection to canon characters. Talking cat.

Must go bleach brain now.

10 things you like: I think I just did this meme. XD But my 10 likes of today are as follows: getting an A on my French test, getting an A on my Arabic test, the internet, the NHC and their reports on Wilma, PL Nunn's Bastard!! fic arcs, fics containing IC characters, Advent Children, my latest green chocobo from last night's continued FFVII replay (128 km! So much better than his sister, who topped out at 108.) coffee, and Thai coffee.

3 things that make you happy: The second cup of coffee of the morning, because I'm always too sleepy to pay attention to the first. Good stories, particularly on thundering nights, but good stories over all. The kind that sweep you away into that world until you forget everything else and you almost feel the pain of needing to know what happens next while at the same time, dreading the end. That sleepy feeling on mornings when you don't have to get up, when you're only half awake and everything is perfectly content.

3 things that anger you: Stupid people, poor characterization, when gravity wins

10 things that you hate: Morons, people who hurt kids, my stupid right foot, cleaning up after my cat, failure, car accidents, being unable to communicate with someone due to a language barrier, mixing up the emphatics of the Arabic alphabet, when my laptop dies on me unexpectedly, burnt coffee (such a waste!)

3 facts about your name: I go by my middle name, Lynn, in most of RL because my family is adopting a girl who shares my first. My favorite part of my name is the one I wasn't born with. I was given the name Lynn after my aunt, who with her twin sister died right after they were born.

5 facts about yourself: I'm left handed, but mostly ambidextrious. My hair is just long enough to whap myself in the eye with when it's in a ponytail and I turn my head too fast. I'm a Scorpio. I'm a bit of a wannabe overachiever but I'm also quite lazy, which is a proper conflict of interests.

2 things you expect (at least for now): To clean my room this weekend and hopefully find the rest of my (currently lost) manga and doujinshi and to get a B on my Arabic exam this afternoon.

4 random thoughts:

"I really should be doing work right now..."
"If Kall-Su and Fai D. Flowright walked into a bar, would they kill each other or commiserate over what it's like to have an overbearing figure in their lives who thinks that they own them?"
"I owe several people fic and I should probably work on that. Poor Kage-chan has waited over a year for one!"
"I could stand more coffee."

A song you're listening to (give singer): Does having Carla Bruni stuck in my head count? Because I think Quelqu'un M'a Dit has now taken up permenant residence there.

time: 2:39 EST, October the 19th, two thousand and five.

10 People you'll tag this to: cosmicastaway, karma_aster, shadow_arashi, berne, yami_no_kaiba, katarik, zara_the_pirate, sexyferret, teneshi, ms_kinnikufan

_rp_zeal_ rocks. Utterly. She is amazing and wonderful and lovely and to her I wish to say thank you ever so much for the six months of paid lj account bliss.

As a side note, I just now learned how to do that little username link thingie. I've been on lj over three years now, and hadn't learned it previously.

One more thing that's awesome about today.

In the grand tradition of the Harry Potter fandom, I shall now make a rambling post about the latest book. And trust me, it's rambly. This thing last clocked in at 2600 words, and while I want to cut that down some, it's still bound to be quite long.

Wow.

Two years ago, I finished reading order with a definite sense of disappointment. I didn't like Order. I didn't like Harry in Order. My dislike of Dumbledore (hardly a surprise to anyone, I'd imagine) swelled to such size that it wasn't until Gabriel graced the pages of the Lymond Chronicles that I discovered a literary figure that I loathed more. Draco was a weak character, who did nothing save remind the reader that there are secondary characters who are still children. The new grrrlpower Ginny disgusted me. Hermione overshadowed Ron in every possible way, and became in essence a Mary Sue. Luna, I had liked. Tonks, I could have grown to like, if I could have stood to reread the book.

I didn't. I've read Order all of once and, until I read the series again as a whole, I doubt I will again. I hated Order.

But I've been brought back into the whole mess with HBP. And since this as become so long, I'm going to cut it up and hope that, somehow, it will still make sense.

( Random thoughts. )

( And chapter two? )
( Harry. )

( Re: Snape. )

( And Draco. Ah, Draco. )

All in all, I find the whole thing to be quite fascinating. And, unlike in the summer of 2003, I can’t wait for more.

Your Slanguage Profile

Canadian Slang: 75%

Prison Slang: 75%

Aussie Slang: 25%

British Slang: 25%

Victorian Slang: 25%

New England Slang: 0%

Southern Slang: 0%

So according to this, I'm a convict from Canada?

Wow. The things one discovers on lj. XD

If I am ever so foolish as to brave the ff.net SG-1 fic pages again, please please kill me. Quickly. I was curious. I was naive. But any fic site where the first ten stories start out as high school AU (and how with the boys deal with the new grrlz??!!!!11!), a Daniel cutter fic (and what *is* with the proliferation of cutter!fic, regardless? According to fandom, it's a wonder Draco can cast at all - his arms should all be torn up and sliced to ribbons. And now Daniel?), one slashfic where Daniel and Jack have to deal with gaybashing (I'm pretty much a genficcer in the SG fandom, but for Sam/Jack, Sam/Daniel, Jack/Daniel, Jack/Teal'c, I don't care what, it's only proper to care about regulations!), and such odd.

Wow. And I thought the HP section was bad...

To my defense, I only wandered there due to temporary insanity brought about by the cliffhanger ending to season one. These DVDs should come with a warning! "Do not under any circumstances watch disk 5 without season two at hand" or such because, I'm telling you, as cliffhangers go that was a nice one. Annoying as hell, but pretty sweet. And even though my brain says "lookit, there are nine seasons, obviously they made it," my inner fangirl is moaning "but they're attacking Earth!!1!" and it's no good for anyone.

On the plus side, have been reading the manga Death Note and I really like Raito-kun. I'd like him more if he wasn't a bit of a sociopath with delusions of godhood, but eh. You take what you can get. L's pretty awesome, too.

Wow, but Ra is the prettiest System Lord/last of a dying species that I've seen like evah. And Daniel in the movie just cements my adoration of him. And Sha're! So cool. Daniel and Sha're are the cutest couple I've seen in ages, really. Just aw. But where does the SG1 fndom get the idea that Daniel's a pacifist? Dude, he's shooting people all over the place in here.

Admittingly, they killed him first, but they were decent enough to bring him back to life again afterwards. That might have been so that Ra had someone to be slashy with lord over, but the point remains.

Jack's a bundle of angst though, and I miss Sam and Teal'c. Obviously I must watch more of the first season.

When excited over a new anime, do NOT, under any circumstances, click the link that says "spoilers regarding Soushi's fate in the final episode." This really goes to any series that you're only four episodes into, but apparently it counts twice and double for Soukyuu no Fafner.

Though if Rei is Seiji's lost clone, Shinn has one of his own in Kazuki. Can the boys look more alike? No? I didn't think it was possible either.

Edit:

Do not, repeat DO NOT, under any circumstances, commence downloading of a new series THE DAY BEFORE IT IS LISCENCED.

Honest. It only does you angsty woefulness and then you *still* don't get to find out what happened to Soushi.

Napes. I like Soushi and now I've got to wait until July to learn anything.

Double Edit:

Huh. That means I deleted 4.5 GB for nothing. Aaargh.

The Great LiveJournal Outage of 2005 During the outage I hoped that pressing reload page would bring live journal back. What did you do? Brought to you by geek-foo

But in my defense, it was mostly because I really had wanted to post to a group I'm a part of and it had a deadline. As it worked out, I missed both the post and the thing I was supposed to be posting about, so alas.

And now? I'm off for hot chocolate. Why the stupid post? Is it because I like spamming you? Because I'm naive enough to think you're interested?

Nah. Mostly I'm just bored.

Am ill. Have ruptured eardrum. Sinuses.. draining..

...

bleh.

( More FFVII babbling. Ignore as needed. )

Why I get myself involved in so many cracktastic fandoms, I've got no idea. I mean, there's been the whole DCverse recently, and that place? Crackity crack crack crack. So much the crack. As people are quite fond of saying, no matter how ridiculously terrible and OOC Mary-Sue ridden the fanon thing you've found, it happened in canon first. This is the canon where people die, come back, die again, have centaurs in love with women who beg the gods to be human but the gods mess it up so you end up with Superhorse/Super Girl OTP!!1! and other such joys and delights. This is the canon that realized was getting too cracktastic and so it rebooted itself. Where people die and fall in love and get married only the preachers get EATEN BY ZOMBIE POSSESSED DEMON DAUGHTERS RAR! who procede to hit on the brides. And they love to fisk with their readers' heads, too. They derive pleasure from our screams of despair and disbelief as fandom favorites bite the big one (maybe to come back. Maybe.) and as Robins get angsted. Doesn't matter which one. There are four or five to choose from, depending on who you ask. I could even make a case for six, if you count that other kid that Bruce adopted. Funny how the child services people never really seemed to follow up on that case.

...Hm. Fic idea.

And then there's Harry Potter. Oh, HP, how cracktastic you are. What HP lacks in age, it makes up in sheer wankage. And I like the HP fandom. But no matter what the twisted and deranged act, it's been written in a fic. You want dead!James/Harry NC-17 pr0n? It's there. Rat!Peter/Draco? Oh yeah, there's that too. And don't get me started on the places that Hagrid's umbrella has been. And yet, for all the things out there that people seem to write just to gross one another out, there's some truly amazing works that, for me at least, completely blow the canon away. I'll take the DT over Order any day of the week. I've been prepared since Goblet to state that "Underwater Light" is my new canon. Let me reread the prologue to "Blind Faith" by Berne, and I *still* get shivers. Some truly magnificent works have come out of this fandom, and it amazes me because I think that a lot of professional authors dabble in it and the results? Oh, they're brilliant. I need to make a post of fandom recs, sometime, because there are a thousand unknown stories that never get the credit that they deserve.

Weiss Kreuz is another of these fandoms. WK is like HP, in that I actually find myself preferring fanon to canon. It's different than HP though in that HP fanon, in order to be good needs to be based on canon. HP has to build up to fanon from a firm canon base, regardless of whether you're doing an AU or future!fic or what, because otherwise it looses all of its appeal. WK!canon is just frightening. WK amazes me because it's this bizarre and somewhat obscure fandom where pretty Japanese florists get their Assassin on during the night and go off to kill people that the courts can't convict. The official doujinshi was pretty good though I'll admit to knowing nothing about Side B. And I did like Gluhan, strange new character designs and why did they do that to Youji's hair, I'll never know, but argh. But the actual series, the what was it, 30+ episode canon series? Oh, it was scary bad. I'll admit too that I've only seen it once, but I did watch all the episodes in that go. And they were just... Wow. Painful bad. And yet the fanon? It's taken what could have been a terrible, terrible thing and pulled in the manga references that the anime left out and it's taken some new ideas and tossed them all together and from this mix comes some magnificent works. Fantastic stuff. Epic level works. Nekojita's Violet Eyes arc, for one. Though I'm not that fond of the first story, it's by far the longest WK fic I know of and it just builds into this amazing story that blindsides you with its slowly building character development as Aya, Youji, and Schuldig all slowly wind closer and closer together. Plus, I'll admit it. I've got a kink for metahuman!Aya fic and of such stories, this one is king.

But its definately cracktastic to have a fandom that is so much better than the fandom. Honest. And I'll wax meta about FFVII and character interactions there and squee over a thousand things and bemoan the lack of good platonic fic. All good FFVII longfic is, in some way, romantically inclined. Which is unfortunate, really, as the actual game can be taken to be completely romance-free. Can be taken. Isn't, really, but still. Good platonic fic is almost impossible to find. It's all Cloud/Aeris or Sephiroth/Cloud (which I *have* seen well done and when it's good, tends to be *fantastic* but oh, getting to that point where it's more than "yeah. no." is really, really hard and would it be so terrible to get some S/C where Cloud *wasn't* in love with Sephiroth since for-evah and thus magically has nothing to work around when it comes to forgiveness for, oh, murdering his entire town, killing his mom, almost killing the girl he liked, almost making Cloud kill the girl he loved, *actually* killing the girl he loved, and making Cloud question his entire identity, whether or not he is actually human, and turning him into a unwilling puppet when he was already screwed up from what Sephiroth's father had done? I mean, there are some serious issues to S/C and most of the time [aside from Madamhydra's fic. I'll give you that one.] they're completely brushed under the carpet. Come on people! Take these things into consideration!) or Zack/Cloud or Sephiroth/Tifa (and that one makes my brain hurt) and so on and so forth. Just... Argh.

But so much to the good on fandoms that I like. And so much crack in all of them. Maybe that's it - twisted fandoms are more fun. Give unto me the strange and bizarre relationships and I'll be happy. And, come to think of it, there is a huge element of bizarre and twisted relationships in each of the fandoms I've mentioned above. At least, when done properly. There might not be something that equals Schuldig/Aya ("I didn't kill you, therefore I own you.") in Harry Potter, but the whackjob that is the Harry-Sirius-Snape equation or the like makes up for it.

Fandom crack. It's always a good thing.

Dude. Don't click if you don't want major spoilers. Really. But THIS had better not mean what I think it does. Because, DC, as a fandom I'm fond of you and your crack, but if you did what I think you did, then we may just have to go our seperate ways.

ETA:

Okay, I'm better. DC may or may not have betrayed my fledging love in their universe, but Squaresoft has not failed me! Ah, sweet sweet new Advent Children trailer. Four minutes of GLORY. http://www.square-enix.co.jp/dvd/ff7ac/ Just click on the trailers section and then the pic of silver haired whatshisface. Wow. And Yuffie! She talked!! And SO GOOD. Also - wtf is up with Cloud's arm? No, really? Is that where the sickness thingie comes in or did he wrench it falling from the motorcycle or what, because when Vincent grabs it he's all like "owowow" and Cloud's never like that. Unless Jenova and/or Sephiroth is fisking with his head, but that hardly counts. I mean really. Torture a man for five years and suddenly he gets a very high pain tolerence. Go fig.

So the internet is dead, leastwise at my house. Which is highly annoying as, comeon, you can only do so much non-work related surfing at the office and besides which, half of the fun stuff I do I'd not look at there. Check my email, sure. Update livejournal, obviously. Comment on friends' posts, gotcha. But no reading fanfic or doing more than breeze through my daily webcomics and woe, but it's not enough!

So if I don't get to any of you in a timely manner, please forgive me. It's not my fault! Honest! It's the stupid wireless and Zeus, don't you dare say anything. I know its insecure as can be and wireless sucks in general, however, it's what I've got.

Argh.

To add to the woe, my laptop's power adaptor is going. This means that unless the cord is positioned just so, it can't recharge the batteries. As you might have guessed, this sucks. Muchly. Esp. as it means that I cannot bring el compu on the train with me as no way to charge it. This also means no new episodes of Tactics or Gundam Seed Destiny to watch. Woe and alas!!

At least I got the last two Ultimate Spider-Man TPBs. Which is all well and good save for WHAT THOSE BASTARDS DID TO GWEN STACY. (Stacey? I don't remember which. I think it's just "Stacy" though. Hm.) Argh twice!! And Peter, darling, stop getting kidnapped by the villians. It makes you loose your street cred. Though Doc Ock's grim "Mr. Parker..." was excellent along the lines of Agent Smith tones, and I like him muchly muchly. Carnage's backstory in this verse sucks though.